


Protect the Lemons!

by lah_mrh



Category: Lemon Stealing Whores (YouTube)
Genre: Backstory, Canon-typical language, F/M, Humour, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 21:09:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2826191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lah_mrh/pseuds/lah_mrh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Hayley and Tom have ever wanted is a lemon tree of their very own, and no Lemon-Stealing Whores are going to ruin that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Protect the Lemons!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dracothelizard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracothelizard/gifts).



> Thanks to Brigdh for the beta.

Some girls, when they were young, dreamed of being famous, or getting married, or travelling the world. Hayley, however, had only one dream: to have a lemon tree of her very own.

She loved lemons. Their taste, their smell, their bright yellow colour – she loved it all. And so she decided that when she grew up she would have a house with a yard, and a lemon tree of her very own. 

Many people laughed at her dream, but Hayley stood firm against their mockery. And when she met Tom, it felt like a match made in heaven. He too loved lemons, and shared her dream of a tree (or even trees) of their very own.

Their courtship was short, and the first thing they did after they got married (in a lemon-themed ceremony, of course) was go looking for a place where they could grow their lemon trees in peace.

It took some time, but they eventually stumbled on the perfect place. The neighbourhood was called Chestnut Grove, but there were no chestnut trees in sight. Just lemon tree after lemon tree, standing proudly in each yard. They looked at each other, and didn't even have to speak to know that this was it. This was the place.

The house was nice, with not much work needed. A good thing, too, since Tom and Hayley had barely looked at it before agreeing to buy. But it was adequate for their needs, and had a good-sized yard for them to grow their first lemon tree.

The neighbours were nice too. Friendly and helpful, and willing to offer plenty of advice to the newlywed couple.

Several of them came around the first night, to welcome their new neighbours, and it didn't take long for the conversation to come around to lemon trees.

"Oh, yes, we've had ours for years," said Mrs Sharpe (call me Helen, dear), the grey-haired pensioner from next door. "David gave it to me as a gift for our tenth anniversary."

"And once we tasted the lemons from it, Barb and I decided we just had to have one of our own," added Joe from down the street.

Mrs Sharpe nodded modestly. "After that, it seemed to take off. We're very lucky, really," she added. "The soil here is excellent. It's a perfect place for growing lemon trees."

"Except for the Whores," Mindy from across the road put in.

"The Whores?" Hayley asked, blinking in confusion.

Mindy nodded darkly. "The Lemon-Stealing Whores." Hayley swore she could hear the capital letters at the start of the words. "They were back around just last week. We'd have lost our whole crop if Gary hadn't interrupted them."

"They steal lemons?" Hayley asked in horror. Suddenly the neighbourhood seemed a little less perfect. "What do they do with them?"

"No one knows," Mrs Sharpe said. "David and I have managed to keep them away with an alarm system, but they're crafty. And they can't be reasoned with." She shook her head slowly and took a sip of coffee. "I'm afraid you'll have to watch out if you want to grow lemons around here, my dears."

The dire warning was fresh in Hayley's mind the next morning, when she and Tom set out to buy a lemon tree for their yard. It took them almost the whole day, but eventually they found one that was perfect. Not too big, not too small, and of a type that Hayley had read produced especially succulent lemons. True, it was a little more expensive than they had budgeted for, but they both agreed that it was worth it.

The wait for it to be delivered was torturous, but Hayley and Tom kept busy organising the house and making sure all their belongings were stored tidily away. It was during one of these sessions, when Hayley was shelving books in the living room bookcase, that she had her first sighting of a Lemon-Stealing Whore.

Part of her had hoped that Mindy and the others were just trying to scare her with their tales, but as her eyes fell on the scantily clad woman creeping across the Sharpe's backyard she realised they had been telling the truth after all.

She wondered what to do. Should she call Mrs Sharpe? Should she call the police? Her first instinct was to go out and confront the Whore, but Mrs Sharpe had told her they couldn't be reasoned with…

At that moment a piercing siren rang out, and Hayley watched as the Whore quickly snatched a few lemons from the tree before running away. _That must be the alarm Mrs Sharpe mentioned_ , she thought.

A few seconds later Mr Sharpe burst out of the house, shaking his fist. "Damn Whores!" he yelled. "Get away from here!"

Hayley watched as he stalked over to the tree and turned off the alarm, then bent down and picked up a lemon the Whore had dropped. He clenched it in his fist, before turning and making his way back into the house.

By now Hayley had forgotten all about the books she was meant to be shelving. She watched for a while longer, but the Whore didn't come back. She was startled when Tom came up behind her.

"I've finished unpacking the pans," he said. "Do you want some help in here?"

"Tom, I saw one!" Hayley replied, ignoring the question. "A Lemon-Stealing Whore! She was right next door trying to steal the Sharpes' lemons!"

Tom's eyes widened. "Really? What did she look like?"

"Like… like a Whore," Hayley replied, and collapsed into his arms. "Oh, Tom, I'm scared. Do you think our lemon tree will be safe? Maybe we should get an apple tree instead."

"Don't say things like that," Tom told her. "Our lemon tree will be just fine, and we'll love it, and care for it, and make it the most perfect tree in the whole world. No Lemon-Stealing Whores can stop that."

Hayley hugged him tightly. Of course everything would be okay. No one loved lemons more than them, and she knew they'd do whatever they had to to keep their lemon tree safe. Whores or no Whores.


End file.
